my husband married another woman islam

As described in one of the verses of the Quran below. 1. I read that, and I was shocked! My 3 children and I crowded the house and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence. May I point out that marriage is very hard experience for both parties. married to him. May Allaah make it easy for us to practice.InshaAllaah, when I get marriied! It's not just about love The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, "No believing man should hate a believing woman. I love my husband so much that I can not see myself sharing him with another woman. Neglecting my children and the business. permissible manner. In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. Oh well, baby steps. (i`m not pregnant) He Wants To Have Sex More Often. [Yoosuf 12:90], Is there any reward for good other than good?, And verily, Allaah is with the Muhsinoon (good-doers). This commandment is written in the same verse in Surah An-Nisa. i`m married for the second time. One of the blessings that Allaah bestows upon some spouses is Maybe even noble- of mind in the very least. So, a lot of Muslim men and women go through their marriages with very little communication and never really knowing what the other person is thinking. "In 2019 my husband admitted to being in love with this woman and he sends her money from time to time and also claims to be the godfather of her children." Sun, Jan 15, 2023 LOGIN Subscribe for $1 I am a white English revert sister, who was raised Catholic my whole life before coming to Islam, so I know I am fighting my ingrained culture when I feel instinctively against it. You have the right to your happiness and to be treated with respect. theres a thing called devil n he took the better of my husband n he repeated himself in his act of betreyal.god damn it it hurts.n its all this male mustangs fault.respect,huh!!! It may be possible in exceptional cases of one in ten thousand. From Maqil bin Yasar, he said: Somebody came to the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam and said: I have a woman who has dignity and beauty, but she is barren. If you dont then dont expect much from him. All men think about other women. Great article, although I think number 4 needs to go. So in the light of the above, its clear that the matter is not just having a right to do so, its how you use that right. Although I did very much appreciate zuhrAs story. Sometimes, dream about husband getting married to another woman indicates domesticity. 6 mos later he asked me to marry him. Mock or make fun of her. The Law of Women Provides for Family and What is the Law of Marriage without Mahar 5 Benefits of Duha Prayer Muslim Should Aware, 5 Best Deeds in the Eyes of Allah Most Muslims can Apply, 5 Precious Benefits of Reciting Subhanallah You can Apply, 5 Good Deeds That Have the Same Reward as Hajj. Its not just men. I could not accept that and I vehemently made my stance clear to him. Bukhari and Muslim. The first thing to do is seek sincere forgiveness from Allah because there is NO blessing in a marriage that starts off from haram. The first wifes consent is not a prerequisite for a man to take another wife. She accepted the practice of polygamy as part of her religion and when she fell in love with a married man, she was the one who suggested that she become his second wife. It goes so far in Islam that if a woman wishes to perform an optional fasting (not the ones in Ramadan) she NEEDS to have her husbands permission! Now that I am on the receiving end, I realized how wrong I was in denying another woman this PRIVILEGE of a husband. -_- Make her feel special & shell make you feel special too. If both the partners realize that & aim to make their marriage successful with love, respect & loyalty they wouldnt need to throw back and forth the Hadiths and Quranic verses just to be one up on the other. Second, it may indicate that you are committed to the feelings your sister-in-law has for you. Roles of man and wife are divided in Islam. Allah knows best of this world. His reputation is tarnished or his honor is attacked. It is narrated from Imm as-diq (as): Three ladies went to the Prophet (S) to complain. Copyright 2010 - 2017 Pure Matrimony. You can imagine how frustrating it would be for a man, who tries his best to care for his family, to be married to a woman who doesnt respect him. Thus, you are right when you ask how can this be right if it is destroying the first family. Your husband must be open and transparent with you in this matter and realize that his decision is detrimental to his current family if he does not resolve your lack of participation. Just ridiculous. I let the whole world, my familly, anythung for his sake and I love him so much but sometimes he is totally different, cold, and acting bad because of little things. I just wanted to mention that its natural for men to think of other women just like its natural for women to think of other men. Western culture encourages husbands and wives to talk to each other and discuss things. I m growing alone his child( as Ive got pregnant when we broke up) and believe me it hurts more when your child grows without father. So what happens when he is getting the respect, loyalty and physical attention from his wife and still seeking for wife no 2? so my advice is follow the advice above and make sure your husband has everything he could ever want from you and so he won;t even look at another woman. Can he stay stay home with our children and have my dinners ready? There is a reason why the majority of the inhabitants in Jahannam are women. Thanks anyway. This Ive witnessed in many families. i dont want to leave him.and i can make my parents me to marry him.but he is not ready for thatwhat will i do? My husband is Muslim and as such he is allowed to marry a maximum of 4 women (If he fulfills the stringent obligations that come with marrying multiple wives) so before we married this was discussed. Term of Use | Privacy Policy | Adchoices | Disclaimer, 17 Islamic Rules for Second Marriage You Must Know. Allah created men and women to be each others companions not competitors. ?I dont buy that.Atleast my husband doesnt.I do not agree with that. Do little things to get him to improve his Islam. Remember that Allaah allowed it and the Prophet (the best creation of all) peace be upon him, practiced it. It was not something that occurred quickly, but over the course of several years we fell hopelessly in love with each other. I cant love him and give him what he wants. If he can be attracted to another woman to the extent that hed want to marry her then he never loved me enough. My husband converted to Islam and married another Posted by R.A. August 8, 2017 Printer-friendly I come in peace.. My husband and I married in a Catholic Church and we have lived for 24 years. This is what usually comes to mind when people talk about loyalty in a marriage.What Im talking about is knowing that the person whom youve chosen to spend the rest of your life with is going to be there for you when you really need them. 1626. This post is general, it doesnt work on husbands who are unfair with their wives. Divorce does not mean divorce. I have been married to a Pakistani man (we did nikah). 33:36 To all the women reading this post, understand that this was written with good intent, women constantly want to have a better understanding of a mans thinking, to be quite honest, the author only intended to shed more light on that, these are all mens nature, Allah built us this way. same does not apply to husband my dear.. thats what I hate about the whole thing.. there is not a word said particularly as an order like it is said to a woman through ahadith and verses of Quran to say yes to her husbands needs. I would remove #7 if I were the author of this article TBH. While it is completely understandable that you are shocked and hurt, provided the situation, you may still have the chance to improve your family life with him in South Africa and keep it separate from his parents and wife in Egypt. However a woman is not the same level as the man as shes required to please him in whatever situation unless its a situation where she has no power to do anything about (i.e monthly periods). something permissible, so she should not object to it. Even ALLAH Dont force for Pray. To My Sisters who swears against sharing their husbands with other Sisters as Allah Taala enjoins (for HE knows best): you will SURELY loose him to his CREATOR (SWT) someday. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. Sex when he wants even if the woman doesnt?? Based on the above, you should push away all whispers from Salam Aleykum, Lastly, just like the man, a woman desires respect from her man too. It has to be earned. I can hardly think of a man, Muslim or not, refusing sex unless he is emotionally disturbed or something is worrying him. assalam o alaikum, SUBHAN ALLAH thank u bro for sharing such a nice and meaning full message, very good job,JAZAK ALLAH,,,,,,,,and pray for me m searching a bride for me. All that guy did was take money from my friend, travel abroad to visit his wives, and then dump her when she found out about all his wives. Recently, I found marriage sites on our laptop. Sometimes youve to face the difficult phases & problems too. Have more time for ur friends than her. I hardly ever hear any good. If it dont kill you then it can only make you stronger!!!! Asalam o Alakum But I had no skill. You may think leaving is the hardest thing to do (it takes courage) but have faith Allah will guide you. If he is of good character and religiously devoted he will go his daily life making sure to follow the sunnah of the prophet and the holy Quran. The truth is that men and women are different, so the sooner you can move on from that the better. and would you say my husband still qualifies for the above? What, he gave her Mahr money, so now he owns her and shes his sex slave? Then he is not in true love with his first wife. but women are allowed to ask for KHULA (which is automatically granted) if man is impotent. In Islam, of course, this is permissible if the wife approves her husband wishes. If a man takes a second wife through lust, this goes against Islamic teaching. Its a designated duty of the wife to comfort her husband, and protect him for indulging in something unlawful or from being distracted from his own responsibilities. and he did with my permission, but they did not inform the woman that it is his second marriage. So you apparently know nothing about women. I have just remarried another wonderful man. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Because deep down, we really just want to make you happy. 1. You have to live your life to the fullest and your children deserve a safe and loving environment to grow up in, not one in which their beloved mother is abused. Yet he yells and gets angry if I ask why. You mean rapeee!??? IF you believe in Islam and Allah you will have to believe that if a woman refuses to have intercourse with her husband, then she is sinning. He already has permission From his lord with stipulations. Below is one of the verses of the Quran that explains this. I would suggest acknowledging the layers of your relationship with him and the in-laws to have a better sense of how to orient your discussions. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. Man and women are psychologically different as well. arguments arise amongst them, which turn the marital relationship into an Subhanallah! Like it or not, some men are polygamous in nature (if not all) and we have to deal with that. Below here is the following hadith that explain this. Honestly, if he is not willing to change his ways then leave him, you do not need to live in misery. but Allah ordered it in quran, the order of allah is justice because islam is full. I got married to him for my family, soon after marriage the day I went to his house the entire house burden n my father in laws responsibility was on me. It is a secret bond and divorce is strongly discouraged by Islam. And to end it with go make me a sandwich? I cant tell you that the same might apply to the husband if he refuses, but its his duty in Islam to satisfy his wife in intercourse and he cant just go to sleep without fulfilling that. Ameen. This takes deliberate words, a soft touch, and careful action. his family told him to do second marriage. They are in denial. assalam alaikum I need to correct you , you cannot say you disagree with something because it doesnt suit you or you dont like it; My only requirement will be that he treats me with kindness and he provides me separate accommodation. Give them a life of good and worth living. It all seems so many years ago now. I asked him to make Istikaara namaaz and ask Allahs guidance and he did so and he performed his namaaz thrice and all 3 times he got a positive answer with me.I dont see him but I know that since his a very decent boy and sincere. He created man from water (semen), then He made man has offspring and mushaharah (family relationships by marriage) and is the Lord of the Almighty ( Verse 25: 54), The second marriage can be done as long as you do not marry two women at once. Gifts dont make up for it, and gifts dont make me respect someone. Kudos to the author. So many women (same goes for men) just take for granted that their husband knows how she feels for him and dont ever say anything. I am a muslim man. Some times we dont feel like to wake up early in the morning for salah but that doesnt mean that its a ridiculous timing. It doesnt mean hes fantasizing about another woman. Agreed! Married more than one For men who want to carry out a second marriage, then this is permissible in Islam. What happens if you hate his touch or being intimate with him n never look forward to it ever. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Quran: Marry woman of your choice in twos threes or fours but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one [Al-Quran 4:3], Before the Quran was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. But we need to understand the spirit of the Islamic ruling first. . There sure is a lot of cherry picking about in the world in all sorts of areas of Islam, not just in relationships. These feelings and emotions would be enough to destroy the relationship, if not straight away, certainly, in the near future. A woman who loves her husband and fears losing him. We were happily married that is at least what I thought. JAK for this comment! For crying out loud! There may be polygamy in order to spread Islam. Why should a nice type Muslim sister be patient when her husband is verbally or even physically abusive, emotionally distant, selfish, childish an narcisstic? In Islam, true dreams are a way for Allah to communicate with human beings, who would otherwise be unable to perceive Him. In none of the religious scriptures like the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. what I have noticed from the hadith When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. If both the partners worried more about providing the rights of the other rather than waiting to give rights only if they saw nothing missing in the rights they were getting, Im sure life will be a lot simpler. Ep 32 Diff 11 Jan 23, Inde, 2022, 29 min. When my husband was alive we lived comfortably. None of us see what you have to deal with or how much effort youve put into your relationship, but Allah sees it all and hell reward you accordingly inshaAllah. My guess is that they moved on to another town. After some time, I found out that he took another wife. To the person who wrote this artical.. Narrated from Aisha Radhiyallahu anhuma, If the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam is about to travel, then he draws among his wives; whichever of them is his part, he goes out with him. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. I cant be selfish on this when it comes to second marriage & indeed Ill try to fix issues instead of going for second thought. body-cover, or screen, or Sakan Krishna had several wives. If the woman convinces him somehow not to be angry or have some genuine problem to avoid it then I dont think she will be cursed. Wallahu alam. Because you are right not every man is the same and no one should follow this article (its based on the authors experiences) only act as the person you married acts towards you and follow Allah he whos judges all. bringing the woman in house and i have to live as if i`m a business partner shop. And its so true toom some times I feel un loved by my husband and I always feel he doesnt share things with me. You have both accepted something haraam and you have not There would be more than four million females in Great Britain 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband. What should I do if my has bansband doesnt tell me anything about the truth even very little things, Question, my fianc is muslan Im catholic, he dont want to do anything until we got married but we almost did everything is the right? He told me the coworker was jealous because I liked him. 1 - Her husband's marrying another wife is regarded as a test and trial for her, and if she bears that with patience she will have the reward for being patient in the face of a trial, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning" [al-Zumar 39:10] Wife is a comforter, a caretaker, an adviser, and the guardian of the property of her husband in his absence. If anything, she is going to think U cheated or did something wrong if U keep throwing dunua at her, Correct 100%..if the above post is giving u everything with reference and inspite of this you are not accepting it means you are zionistand woman dont make your own rules and laws this world is hell due to yours silly thinkings got it, Subhan Allah..JazakAllah,.. So stop being childish and open your eyes . JUST KIDDING! A husband needs to pay attention to this, especially if you have two or more wives. The article is sure a nice way of giving a heads up of how many men tend to think like. i am being courted by a muslim man, and so far i find it a bit interesting i never knew someone like himhe claims he loves me and cant live w/out me, but he asked me this question, what if there was 2 of us? Tip Of The Week Safeguard Your Home From Shaytaan. That is, after such a divorce, the husband will separate the relationship with the wife. arent they all superficial? Impotence is not the same thing as infertility. But Allah is forgiving and merciful. It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to have the consent of his first wife, but it is good manners and kindness to deal with her in such a manner that will minimize the hurt feelings such thing might produce. Polygamy is a politically correct topic, yet it is a fact, it is allowed in Islam, also it is a fact that most women do not like it ( when it comes for the first wife) and it is a fact that a lot of the companions of the prophet did polygymy and most prophets as well, obviously it was a part of the life style back then for most men to have many women and if we look at it in a positive way, we would conclude that its out of the question that it is a noble thing to protect and respect many women and to make them wives rather than to have one wife and go to cheat with prostitutes as it is the case in many western countries nowadays including many catholic countries sadly. @Mr. Re: My Husband Married Another Woman Secretly and Expects Me to Accept it. Jazakallah khier. seriously good points you have mentioned here. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. unbearable hell. (Ameen). We were both widowed. Why is a man allowed to marry more than one wife in Islam? I would understand this rule if it was practiced under emergency circumstances such as after a war when there are a lot of widows who can't support their families, or in a society when women outnumber the men. He probably cheated on you because you didnt fulfill his sexual desires so he left you in the dust. But this year, he told me many lies. good care of her. Masha Allah, Quite an informative and interactive forum. Wa`alykum As-Salamu Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. Im really not in the mood.. I guess this is life and we should always say Alhamdulliah. He will not got to hell for taking another wife. Knowledge of these matters. and today am happily living with my husband and a bouncing baby boy , with all this help rendered to me through this DR ABULU OF (abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com )i will always thank him forever and testify his goodness in my life for other,s to hear an see , once again thank you DR for bringing back my family . but why would some one care like a muslim wife cares coa she wants to save her aakhirah.. hey sista. His wife was to me, the woman that I could not be and I will be forever grateful for that. I did not find anything to be forced. But watching comments & after reading the article Id like to say that SEX is not only the thing keeping marriages prosper & happy life. Zakkiya http://www.muslimommy.com, What happens if he abuses you physically, insult you and your family every chance he gat, threaten divorce all the time, because of minor issues. It should not be a form of abuse. He again threatens you with divorce if you go forward ? Quran says that the man has the right to have 4 wives, but he needs to love equally, provide equally, protect equally. He uttered the divorce words three times in one meeting, then I went back to my parents house. We have to open our hearts to Allah and be compassionate. They are just doing it for their selfish reasons. Because I love him too much but he loves the 2 nd wife only. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. Women indeed isnt something sex slave,and if she denies to have then whats the big deal? Etc. I am a married woman with kids.My husband treats me very well and takes care of me well.Recenetly one of his relatives a guy almost about 10 years younger than I am and I became very close and before I knew it he fell in love with me.I told him that its not on but his feelings for me grew and grew. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". You men are so full of your selves. He came to my brothers house to see me. May Allah bless your marraige and everybody elses. You, as men should be fair to the first wife and the second wife you will marry later. You need to put it in your marriage contract that you want a second wife. So brothers and sisters before talking about the chances of your husband or yourself getting married again we need to fix and improve our current marriages. If she walks in, I walk out! May Allah(swt) make it easy on all of us, and deal with us with His Mercy and Blessings. He is weak in Taqwa. So first, polygamy is rule made by Allah and you have to accept it. Threaten her with divorce. Any how he got chance for quarring with me. Wow. All he used to do was he was busy in his own world. Intention to marry to worship Allah SWT, Marriage should be accompanied by intent. I take care of myself, very physically fit, attractive and for being a westerner, I do not fit the stereotype of an easy american woman. He is not interested in physical affection anymore. One should learn how to respect his wife. (Verse 4: 129), 4. It really bothers me. him if it is bad. And we do need your support.And its very troubling to be married to a woman who may not be around when the going gets tough.If you are constantly threatening divorce or separation or Khula (Islamic divorce initiated by the wife), you can expect your marriage to fizzle out very quickly. The hadith regarding this matter says fair treatment. You r married to him and having two children, just try to not as to much attention and care about ur children as long as hes good with you, respects you, caring about family financially then do it for your children,unless untill they are enough grown-up. And why would I when I love my wife. We married in the Church about a year before our baby was born. Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded. We do not know of any saheeh evidence which refers to the A father should be responsible for the life of his children even though he has separated from the mother. Allah says, Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four. (An-Nisa: 3) We are both really practining muslims(im a revert for an year, he is older than me with 17 years and born muslim) but since we are together our deen is decreasing most of the time). asalamu alaikum, For me it is so repulsive to imagine my beloved husband having another woman, making love to her and then the next day coming to me and making love to me. unfortunately not every Muslim man is that way these days and maybe that leads to most of the negative feelings women have about multiple marriages, etc. Salam. Im in Saudi and not many men do it even though there are a ton of unmarried girls here in Saudi. He told me that his first wife knows that he is intending to marry again but that she is obviously not supportive of the idea and that he doesnt know what her reaction will be when he tells her that he had found someone. I read most of the post over here If he is mistreating you, you have the right to leave him. I would rather say dont even feel. Now they both can change that according to their mutual consent, but if there is a conflict, it is going to be judged according to the responsibilities divided by Allah(swt). The question is, how do his parents need support and why is getting married in Egypt going to fulfill that? Our words can be deleted from here but not from THERE. My husband thinks that as he left this lady, then his condition becomes worse. I mean we are woman, best to get over it. But women should not let jealousy make them object to that which Allah has permitted, and they should not try to prevent it; a wife should allow her husband to marry another woman for this is a kind of cooperating in righteousness and piety. May Allah swt guide us all. Russia has nine million more females than males. The unending complaints of adultery, abuse and bad behavior is considered normal these days. In fact it works both ways- a wife will be loyal and her obedience, sex etc only when she FEELS secure in the marriage. last between you after you get married? and trial for her, and if she bears that with patience she will have the If You Nudge Him, He Can Be A Better Muslim Also, there are more women than men. Honestly the muslim women today are taking theri commitments way more seriously than the brothers. Why do you think men like buying women gifts? Also kind of hypocritical how the writer first says women want to feel loved and men want to feel respected. But it must be received and acted upon, no excuses. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Both were married too. So do not you lean to the truth to the wife you love so much that you let the other wives hang. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males. I think the issue nowadays is women are raised with the idea that men are more perfect than they are, and more like women. Thats extremely difficult these days. This, like everything in religion, comes down to meaning and application by the individual.
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