If SIL can't afford the ticket then she can choose not to come. When it comes to weddings, the question of how much of the financial burden should be put on the parents of the bride or groom can be a tricky one. Run, OP. My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old. 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Saul Tolstych. I'm very happy that he has recovered and do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it. ago. Theres the spouse, kids, friends, parents. You are free. NTA. Help keep the sub engaging! A woman and her fiance got invited to go on holiday by car, and it turned out they would have to endure a screaming baby and bad odors for the whole trip Image credits: 55555551i2 The original poster on the Reddit subforum embarked on a road trip with her fiance's family and it went quite poorly from the get-go. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. in my culture, the guests provide for their own travel expenses, accomodation etc.. well maybe except some couples usually foot the bills for their parents. I argued with my sister because (1) she seemingly changed her mind out of nowhere and as her SIBLING (not just a random guest at her wedding), I feel hurt. Please listen to the people here who have experienced this. I would not marry a man who is, in effect, telling his sons that your sons are not family. If you really want her there, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home. In our culture, the wedding is a very small event with close family and a few friends but the wedding reception is a large (200-300 people) come and go or come and stay until the end event with food, music, dancing, etc. Your account is not active. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Of course, when we go out and have romantic dinners (about once a week) I cover the cost, and we usually give each other gifts every month or so, but those are extras. Concerns were raised about the relationship. If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} "She is planning her wedding (and let me know a few things she wanted for her special day): Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding; I said: OK, it's your day. (I denied the guests invites my parents proposed from their side). 787 top end rebuild; can you. 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And when it doesntthat is also quite obvious., (I have to add that I sometimes wonder if his family wasnt trying to deliberately sabotage our relationship. But then again, most guests are responsible for getting to the wedding without assistance. That may be true if you go to court over it(im not a lawyer, so idk), but if you try to dispute it through your bank, you're gonna be held to the agreement you made, which likely only says that the deposit is non-refundable. ._3bX7W3J0lU78fp7cayvNxx{max-width:208px;text-align:center} I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. AITA? The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they cant handle the stress. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. .ehsOqYO6dxn_Pf9Dzwu37{margin-top:0;overflow:visible}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu{height:24px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu{border-radius:2px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:focus,._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:hover{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10);outline:none}._38GxRFSqSC-Z2VLi5Xzkjy{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT{border-top:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);cursor:pointer;padding:8px 16px 8px 8px;text-transform:none}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT:hover{background-color:#0079d3;border:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body)} Image credits: Ryan Polei (not the actual image). Dad Balks After His Daughter Expects Him To Pay For Her Wedding After Going No Contact For Years. Yeah, that's a really weird plan. Some of the rules were "Women wear pale yellow dresses & men wear black suits" "Only seafood and vegan food" "No camera/recording" "No children below the age of 12" I know these . cf; pf . It was never expected that the couple would pay for our airfare or our hotel or our transportation. I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. But you also can't be upset with them for missing events. If you've ever planned a wedding, you'll know the struggle of having to decide who gets invited, who gets to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, who is just there for the ceremony and whatnot. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I decided to go against my father's wishes and not invite all of his cousins' kids to my wedding. The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. All the guests and family are on your side. Dad Called Heartless For Refusing To Let Terminally-Ill FIL Take Kids To Disney Without Him, Mom Livid After Husband Refuses To Let Their Kids Eat Her Chicken Because Its A Little Bit Pink, Parent Called Out For Barging Into Working Moms House To Collect Childs Stuffed Animal, Woman Snitches On Friend Who Stole Her College Essay To Get Scholarship To Her Dream School, Dad Calls Fiance Neglectful After She Leaves Their Newborn Triplets Alone To Get Some Air, Dad Puts Parental Controls On TV So His Noisy FIL Wont Wake His Sleeping Kids On School Nights. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: Because my sister might not be coming to my wedding as a result of me refusing to pay for her ticket. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. (And it goes both ways, if you move across the country you can't really expect people to show up for everything, and you can't be upset when you don't get crowds for your wedding). .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} Therefore, she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding. Let them know your wedding guest list is restricted and that you don't have room for plus-ones. Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. A wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it's also a pleasure to share this moment. We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. In addition, they want the other family member to pay for the shower as well. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. if she cant afford to come, then she cant come. Or allow/support others doing the same. When someone moves across the country, they accept the reality that they'll miss milestones for all sorts of reasons ranging from costs to time. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/ before contacting the mod team. Assuming that you don't weaponize the fact that she misses the wedding. Employers don't like that ho~hum attitude, either. My husband (32) and I (26) have been married for nearly 6 months. AmItheAsshole PrimaryDiet5940 11520 G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. After you are married, your MIL will treat your kids differently because they arent her biological grandkids., Things like birthdays and Christmas will become nightmares., I am not talking about paying for education or other more extravagant gifts, just the everyday living experiences., I am not saying you expect any of this, it is just what will probably happen. My sister-in-law, who lives on the other side of the country, is upset that we won't pay for her ticket and is now refusing to come to the wedding. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. But what if that day doesnt come? She's very disappointed and things have been icy because they would have to put off getting a house together if they were to pay for the wedding and they still wouldn't be able to afford the wedding that they want. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil. ._1x9diBHPBP-hL1JiwUwJ5J{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:#ff585b;padding-left:3px;padding-right:24px}._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4{height:16px;padding-right:4px;vertical-align:top}.icon._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5{height:20px;vertical-align:middle;padding-right:8px}.QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{height:18px;padding-right:8px;vertical-align:top}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 .QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)} (33)X; 2X/3X = 0. We put this canyon fee on our invitations. I have regretfully declined weddings I couldn't afford to attend. "I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction., While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. When someone does this, it's time to pick up the phone. "Only Smart Brides Save Money": Fianc Loses It After Finding Out His Wife-To-Be Spent $400 Of Her Own Money On A Wedding Dress Ieva Gailit and Ilona Balinait In an ideal world, planning a wedding would be a thrill. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0}
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